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Honesty
It is so important to be honest upfront when you are dating as we all want different things from a relationship. If you have no intention of going in to a serious relationship then you should state this from the onset. Honesty pays dividends and if you get caught out then who is going to stay with you and trust you in a long term relationship!
What do we need to be honest about?
We ask that you refer to and click on the links that will help to guide you as to what you should be honest about. We hope that this helps you and you may also wish to refer to these topics as they are also questions that are asked for your preferences.
Children
Education
Ambitions
Phobias
Travelling
Alcohol
Smoking
Gambling
Other Interests
Religon and Politics
Commitment
Children
Do we wish to have children for example; this is a very good example as not everyone plans to have children hence we must always ask this question upfront before considering a relationship with another person. Some of us may not want children now but may be liable to change our mind in the future, so maybe it is a good idea to meet an open minded person who feels this also. If a person is adamant right now that they do not wish to or cannot have children and you do, then it is clear that if you get together this could also break your relationship apart. DO NOT expect a person to change into who you want them to be as this will not happen and is not healthy for any relationship.
Your prospective partner may already have children and you must be honest about your own situation and also respectful of your prospective partner if they have children. Children must come first within a relationship and there is no room for regrets because the children seem to be getting more attention than you. Consider at the beginning how you could work your relationship around you or your prospective partners children. Be open minded if you like children and remember that your prospective partner is likely to have a routine whereby they have room for a partner in their lives and therefore need to be given the benefit of the doubt when it comes to making time for you. If a prospective partner does not like children or does not wish to be with a person who has children then we recommend that you show tolerance and move on to a person who does like and want to be with your children as this is a key factor in making your relationship work.
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Education
As I stated above many of us will be considering further education in line with our future growth and objectives. It is always good to talk about these goals and dreams at the beginning of a relationship as often our plans may not fit in with the plans of our prospective partner.
A lot of relationships that begin when you are young and carefree often do not blossom because you tend to go your own way. Often this type of relationship turns into a friendship and you cannot knock a good friendship as this after all is the true and sound basis of any relationship.
Be open and talk about your career and how you hope to fulfill your career objectives. If it is possible for example that you may have to change location or country to fulfill your career objectives, then it is always good to know that your prospective partner can fit in with your plans. Career clashes are not good within a relationship and each person has a right and the choice to fulfill their dreams and desires as a whole. If your prospective partner does not fit in to this criteria, then please respect their wishes and allow them to achieve their goals and move on. There is someone for everyone and you will meet the right person for you who can fit in with your own goals and objectives.
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Ambitions
Is your prospective partner too ambitious for you? Would you rather be taking life easy and you wish to meet another person who wishes the same? Then be true to yourself and do not settle for less.
It is always nice to meet another person who shares your ambitions and perhaps they have similar ambitions themselves or maybe they can gain support from you to enable them to fulfill their dreams.
It is important that we share and agree to each others plans and ambitions as after all, we do not want to come to the end of our life thinking “what if”!
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Phobias
We all have something that frightens us and this is perfectly normal. I know grown men who are over six foot tall who are petrified of spiders! We must respect the fears of our prospective partner and not riducule them for being fearful of something we are not. It is difficult to know how they feel unless we are in their shoes. We are after all unique so what one fears another may tolerate and so on.
We suggest that if you cannot tolerate a person who has phobias that you yourself can tolerate that you move on to someone who does not.
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Travelling
If you are an avid traveller and you wish to meet a prospective partner who also loves to travel, then we suggest that you consider a partner who is fearful of travelling be it flying, sailing etc.
This is not to say that one day this person may overcome their fears and if you feel that they can and more importantly they feel they can then it is then worth developing the relationship.
Fears are not overcome easily therefore one must be patient and understand this when a prospective partner has such a fear.
One should never make changes just to please a prospective partner. If you are to make changes then it should be for you and not for anyone else otherwise it will not work.
Be true to yourself and state your fears (if you have any) upfront so that you and your prospective partner can understand them.
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Alcohol
We must respect that some of us do not drink alcohol or like to be around others that drink alcohol whether it be the odd tipple or a night out with the lads. Some people enjoy a glass of wine when they return from work in the evening and others go out for a drink and to socialise. Alcohol has been around longer than we have and it is a part of our lives as much as food is.
We ask that you be honest about your use of alcohol from the start and be respectful of others views when it comes to alcohol. If being around a person who likes to drink upsets you, then stick with not looking for or being with a partner who enjoys a drink and please DO NOT expect them to give up alcohol just because you do not drink it.
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Smoking
Like alcohol smoking is not often favoured, however we must respect the fact that a lot of people do smoke and it is their choice to do so. It is your choice as to whether or not you wish to be with a smoker. DO NOT expect your prospective partner to stop smoking if they wish to be with you. If you expect a smoker to give up smoking just for you then you will be dissapointed and you will put a great deal of pressure upon that person. Pressure does not bode well in relationships and it will eventually cause a lot of pressure and arguments. So be honest if you smoke as a non smoker can tell very quickly if you do smoke, it is not something you can hide easily.
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Gambling
As with drinking and smoking gambling is a subject that should be talked about when you first meet up. If you like to gamble frequently then your prospective partner should know this upfront. We hope that you meet a like minded person however it may be that if you meet a person who does not like to gamble, then this may cause rifts or problems in your ongoing relationship. It is important to be honest about everything in the beginning and if your prospective partner can accept that you enjoy gambling then this will make for a good relationship.
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Other Interests
Be open about all your interests for example you may love to walk long distances and explore new places hence it would be good to find a partner who also enjoys the same.
We cannot hope to share all of our interests however it helps a great deal if we can share most of them.
We also create new interests within our relationships so that is something to look forward to also! Speak about and find out what your prospective partner would like to do in the way of interests. It could be bungee jumping and that may only require your support in being there to watch or maybe you would end up joining in. Be open minded and remember that you don’t know until you have tried something so do not make judgement until you have.
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Religon and Politics
We must respect others especially when it comes to their religous or political beliefs. DO NOT expect anyone to give up these important factors as it is part of who they are. Also do not expect a prospective partner to become enthusiastic and join in with your religous or political activities.
Be honest about your beliefs both religous and political upfront and if you are set to marry another from the same religon or political background then be mindful of this when choosing a propective partner.
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Commitment
One of the questions we ask you to select asks if you are a quick commiter. This may seem like an odd question to ask however some people do expect commitment from the very beginning of a relationship. Commitment also indicates that the person would expect a serious relationship hence do not select this as an option within your preferences if you do not wish to have a serious relationship.
You do of course get the option to state whether you wish to meet someone who finds commitment important and if you select this option then you will be matched to a person who wishes for commitment also.
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Please contact us at info@astroluvlink.com if you have any questions on any of these topics. We shall endeavor to answer your questions within the next 24 hours unless it is urgent in which case please mark your email “urgent” when you write to us.
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